Conversations with God

I serve a God who is wild – who does things I know not of, whose ways and thoughts are higher than mine, whose purposes reach further than I can now see. But does being wild mean He isn’t safe? The issue is my understanding of the term “safe.” Because it’s not just my physical being that is at stake – it’s the eternal spirit He has created within me. So from that perspective, I am safe in His hands whether I am in the fire or standing outside. “Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul . . . . Are not 2 sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows . . . . Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it” (Mt 10:28-31, 39). At the same time, I must realize it isn’t His goal for me to suffer. In fact, it’s the love of a Father tha...

I had the day off today. I got up at 7 and, after reading my Bible, I worked on a blog about dying to self for the sake of others. I also finished up some paperwork for my job. Then I went to my church and spent 2-3 hours helping to prepare for an upcoming conference. After that I went to the store to pick up a few things, making sure to get some fresh veggies. By the time 4:00 rolled around, I was at a loss for what to do. I tried to take a nap, but wasn’t able to sleep. My mind wouldn’t stop with thoughts of what I could or should be doing. It appeared I’d accomplished a lot, but I couldn’t rest. I hadn’t eaten since about 10:30, so I went into the kitchen. On the counter were several pieces of cake I had brought home from church. I had not eaten it; I was saving it for my roommate. My head was buzzing with all of the things I could do before I had to go to bed: maybe I should fast dinner and go pray (despite a tendency towards low blood sugar); or I could go visit t...

Everyone has a story. Mine isn’t really all that different from anyone else’s, aside from the details. Perhaps the best way to tell it is with a modern-day parable. We’ll call it the parable of the dog. This dog had a good home and lots of love, but one day she got lost. Suddenly, she had to learn to fend for herself, scavenging for anything that even looked or smelled like food. At first, remembering the kindness of her original owners, she automatically trusted anyone who took notice of her. But after a few painful experiences, fear replaced trust as her first response to people. She began hiding under cars and behind dumpsters. Soon, however, she found that she couldn’t get what she needed to survive in this new life unless she ventured into the streets. Because she wasn’t very strong, she joined up with some other strays and willingly submitted to the leader of the pack. It wasn’t the life she’d dreamed of as a puppy in that safe, warm house she vaguely remembered, but s...