Conversations with God

I love what God’s done in my life. Just about every day, He floors me again with His gentleness. It took me a long time to see Him that way. Like so many others, I had a distorted view of God that painted Him as distant and angry, just looking for a chance to kick me. I was consumed with anxiety that I wasn’t ‘getting it right,’ whatever ‘it’ was. My Christianity was a formula; actually, it was more like a haunted house. You know, the kind at the county fair you have to walk through? I was never brave enough to enter those. Yet, years later, I found myself living my walk with God as a maze of sudden falls, warped reflections, and scares around each corner. I never knew what was coming next, but I was consumed with preparing myself so that I wouldn’t be surprised when something bad happened. Then one day, God began speaking to me about love. I didn’t know how to handle it at first. I knew I loved Him – that was enough for me. But He wanted to take it further. That’s when He s...

Today is Independence Day in America. I had this great blog idea about contrasting the American ideal of independence with God’s plan of dependence on Him. It wasn’t coming out very well, however; and as I scrolled through some of my previous writings, I found this piece. I felt His prompting to share it, and my immediate response was, “You don’t really mean this one, do You?” Suddenly, I was facing my own battle of independence. But as I re-read it, I realized I already had a blog about learning dependence. So read, enjoy, and may you soon be able to celebrate your own dependence day: I had a very convicting moment the other day. I had stepped out and done something against the nudging of the Holy Spirit. The conviction was heavy, and I immediately stopped and began repenting. “I don’t want to be independent of You, Lord. Strip me of my independence!” I meant what I said – I wanted to be different. But as I beseeched Him, He reminded me: “I’m not a rapist. So I’m not going to strip y...