Conversations with God

What does a breakthrough look like? Breakthrough in the Hebrew is perez or perets, meaning breach or a bursting forth. So a picture might be of a dam. But why does a dam burst? Generally because it's been weakened over time, slowly but surely. Sometimes we pray for breakthrough, imagining a huge explosion of blessing, favor, healing, whatever we're needing. But maybe what we need is the slow, steady inexorable pressure of Living Water cutting away at it every moment of every day - even when we don't see or feel it. I'm reminded of Jericho. "Then the Lord said to Joshua, 'See, I have delivered Jericho into your hands, along with its king and its fighting men. March around the city once with all the armed men. Do this for six days.'" (Joshua 6:2‭-‬3). God said He'd given them the city while it was yet closed up and impenetrable. Kind of like God saying, "I've healed you" while you still have all the symptoms, huh? Or, "I...

What have You taught me most lately? Mercy, for one. Mercy. Not the same as righteousness, Yet necessary to it. Not the same as grace, But another integral ingredient. Not even the same as forgiveness, But the reason for it. Mercy. Maybe it underlies everything You do And have done. Mercy put Adam and Eve in a protected garden, and gave them clothes when they had to leave. Mercy gave the world decades to repent while Noah built a boat, then saved his family when it refused. Mercy rescued Paul after he'd refused to rescue Stephen, and allowed him to spend the rest of his life rescuing others. Mercy. It characterized Moses, Deborah, and Jesus. Meaning it characterizes You. Meaning it should characterize me. You've had so much mercy on me. Now it's my turn to pour it out on others. More than my turn; even more than a responsibility. It's a privilege You've granted me. How could I refuse?

"You lead me beside still waters..." Leads: "Properly to run with a sparkle, To flow." Carry Conduct Usher Me From fear Anxious thoughts Aging terrors Towards Peace Quiet You. It's not A band-aid A panacea A hiding from So much as A running to Because water only flows one direction And it's harder to fight my way upstream Than accept the rest You're offering. And when my arms get tired You already planned for the waters to carry me In the first place. So I relax Stop struggling against the current Because even if the ride gets bumpy You created it ahead of time To lead me to safety Home To You.

Today I am remembering when You told me, "I'm going to crush you with love." I was looking for weighty conviction, a spiritual-feeling burden, hard to carry. What You offered seemed weak in comparison. Little did I know the shattering that would follow. I watched in awe as walls that had been built on decades of harshness melted like wax at a whisper of Your mercy. And, as always, the relentless love You used to capture me was meant for so much more. As I learned what it meant to be seized by love, I became able to take hold of others. As I experienced the softening that comes from a gentle answer, a soft touch, mercy instead of wrath, I began to extend it to those in front of me. I watched as those hardened by abuse or abandonment began to melt under the steady stream of Your love. Joy replaced fear, confidence replaced cowering, friendliness replaced resentment. That which I had feared was weak proved instead to be a more powerful instrument of change than...

You want to write, but I'm not sure what You want to say, Papa. You're learning to feel again. Shedding self-protective layers Like a snake leaving behind its skin. The snakes sheds because that skin got too small And you made yourself too small to hold what I made for you,  So it's time for that to come off. It's not about Me being angry We just go back to the beginning And start again You know what you know You learned it for the season you were in. Learn it but don't become it. You identify so well with others I gave you that gift Guard yourself and use it well Remember who I am and who I've been to you. Put no limits around Me or My ability to heal and restore. I know you  And I know what I'm doing. I want you to dance with Me again. I know you remember. Of course it seems impossible, That's why I want you to do it. I'm not an ordinary god I'm extraordinary And you living that ...