Conversations with God

I collapse at Your feet, Melting in a puddle of grace mercy peace. “I’m so tired, Papa. I’ve been running so hard. Did You see me?” “Of course I saw you. You never escape My notice. But what were you doing?” “I was working running trying pushing even when it was hard.” “Uh-huh. And whose strength were you using?” “. . . ” “. . .” “Is that why I’m so tired?” “What do you think? It’s okay to be tired. It’s okay to be busy. But I don’t reward you based on how hard you wear yourself out. I don’t reward you for punishing yourself. I told you to rest. Not for a day or a week or a month. I didn’t give you a time limit. I said your brain and body need to rest . Sprained ankles and broken bones are immobilized. Why? So they can heal. Using them when injured only delays healing and can lead to permanent damage. What do you want?” “I want to be healed.” “Ah. But do you want to heal - It’s a process, n...

Yes, I knew from the beginning that you'd be here. No, not just when you surrendered to Me in 2006; I knew it when I formed you. I planned a safe place for you to come for healing. I'm so glad you found it and said Yes. It's not over. There is more to come, but you have found the rhythm now. No, I haven't given you all the answers you seek, but you're learning to trust Me for real now. No, it isn't all smooth and easy, but you're clinging to Me and making Me your anchor.  No, I'm not angry at you and I'll repeat it as often as you need Me to. This isn't punishment, and no, you haven't failed. You want all the answers, but that's not always really what you need. I.am.HERE. Whether you think you should be here or not, if you think you should be or do or know or what - I. Am. Here. With you. I haven't left, I'm not angry, and I'm not sitting up here comparing you to some idealized version of yourself I was hoping for...