The Journey Continues - Inside Out

If there’s one thing I’ve discovered about God, it’s that there is always more to discover. He takes me to a new place of relationship, a new level of intimacy, and my breath is taken away. Then a few days, weeks, months later, there is an encounter that leaves me breathless once again. When I think about that in conjunction with the fact of how short a time I’ve really been walking with Him, I am pretty much speechless at the thought of what’s to come.

But rather than get caught up in the future, I’m learning to savor the day-to-day journey. Sometimes it’s almost (or entirely) overwhelming. The God of the universe taking the time to come down to have a relationship with me . . . it still floors me.

I’ve determined, however, that no matter what He asks or offers, I will say, “Yes.” It seemed like a pretty safe decision in the beginning. The Kingdom of God is salvation, wholeness, restoration and provision in every area. Pretty safe bet, huh?

Then He started meddling in areas of my life I never thought about:  My character. Events in my past that I preferred not to think about. My responses to different situations. But I’d made the decision, so I kept saying, “Yes.”

And each time I’ve taken that step of trust towards Him, I’ve ended up closer to Him. Some times are easier than others, but it’s always worth it.

So, for the past several months, our pastor has been talking about things being turned inside out. There are several dimensions to that transformation, but part of it begins on the personal level. And as He began dealing with me in that way, I faced a brand-new challenge to my determination to say, “Yes.”

I don’t know what you see when you envision being turned inside out. On a natural level, it just sounds disgusting – blood and guts, etc.

On a spiritual level, however, the concept is even more challenging. It means nothing is hidden. It’s transparency like never before. It’s being naked and without defense before the Lord of all creation.

But it also means a new level of intimacy is available once again. As all my feelings, my weaknesses, my longings are laid bare before Him, my heart, my soul, my core is raw and open to the slightest wind of His Spirit.

And if you will just pause with me for a moment, and really live this with me – everything you’ve ever tried to run away from, pushed deep into the innermost parts of your mind . . . all the inadequacies you feel, all the guilt and shame that tell you God can’t even look at you without seeing your failures . . . all the squashed dreams to do something, anything, for God – all of this is now laid bare before the One who created everything with a word.

It gives new meaning to the phrase “fear and trembling.” It makes me wonder if this is similar to what Isaiah felt when he said, “Woe to me! I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty” (Is. 6:5).

But God wasn’t put off by what He saw in Isaiah, and He didn’t run screaming in terror from what He saw in me, either. Amazingly, instead of moving away, He came closer.

As I continue to allow myself to be laid bare before Him, He moves closer to me than I believed I could experience this side of Heaven. As I lay trembling before Him, not knowing what He would or could possibly do with this bloody mess, He’s taken His own heart and wrapped it around mine. He’s begun pumping His own lifeblood into my heart, making our hearts to beat as one.

As I overcome my shock at His goodness and mercy and begin to extend myself towards Him, He immediately reaches back to me. As I hold nothing back, He says, “This is why I created you. This is why I created mankind – to have a people of My own to have relationship with. This is what My Son said when He prayed, ‘I have given them the glory that You gave Me, that they may be one as We are one: I in them and You in Me.’ This is what I have been longing for since the time I had to step back from My son and daughter in the Garden. Can’t you hear My longing? Don’t you know Me enough yet to know I will never turn away from those who love Me like you do? What can you show Me that I haven’t already seen? More than that, what can you hold up as an excuse that I haven’t already paid for? There are no more excuses. I’m offering a new level of intimacy to My lovers, my beloved creation – and that includes you. There’s nothing too big, nothing so terrible as to keep you from it – except lack of desire. If you’re indifferent to what I’m offering, I have nothing for you. But for those who are hungry, rejoice! The time is quickly approaching when you will experience things you only dreamed of – and this is why – I want you to stir hunger in others. I am offering Myself to you so what they see in you deposes their indifference. So – are you willing? Will you pay the price to be one with Me? Will you offer all of yourself to Me so that I can offer all of Myself to you? This is how revival comes, this is how the Kingdom of Light overtakes the darkness – one inside-out heart at a time.”

How can you say “No” to that?